Making Lemonade
They say that when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, right? Personally, I like sweet more than sour, so maybe lemon bars would be a better analogy for me, but the thought is all the same: my life isn't perfect, but it's coming around based on my own efforts.
I've been thinking this a lot the last few days:
(I'm rereading The Fault in Our Stars, where this gem of a quote comes from, and it's perfect. Minus the cancer and tragedy. But seriously, it's so good.)
Anyway, the awesome part about me saying "WHAT IS THIS LIFE?" this week is that it has been about good things. As in "how the heck did I get so dang lucky?!"
I mean, today is my birthday, and that's pretty cool. I've really felt a lot of love, even through generic Facebook wall posts from people I haven't spoken to in a long time. But even better is the love I have felt through the people closer to me (both emotionally and geographically) who have texted, called, or wished me a nice birthday in person. I am blessed to have the family that I do, and blessed to call so many people friends.
Yesterday I had some folks over to my house. Kendle made a delicious cake with lemon curd filling (another great application for lemons). We played games and had a ridiculously fun time naming our Victorian England village "Zacsbeard" in the game Werewolf, after which our pirate ship was also named Zacsbeard. It was captained by the infamous Zacsbeard, played by none other than Seth Glazier. We had a great time.
And with these friends I make lots and lots of jokes about being a menace to society because apparently Brigham Young once said that unmarried men over the age of 25 are have really got to get it together.
Who's got two thumbs and is a freshly deemed detractor to the world? This guy! *enthusiastically jabs chest with both thumbs*
And I've been playing that up for a while now, partly because I kind of am a menace sometimes, and partly because I love taking on the role of "that guy." You know the one—the one that is pretty sarcastic and has a hard time not giggling a little bit during Sunday School if the teacher says a word that could be even remotely suggestive (but probably isn't). Yeah, that's me.
So naturally, the cake Kendle made me emphasized the new title I've been talking about:
Turing 25 has also given me reason to freak out a little bit, and not just because Brigham Young has deemed me a menace. I've felt a little bit lonely lately. I got laid off too. I told my ex-girlfriend a few weeks back that everyday is an existential crisis. We laughed, but a few weeks ago I was really feeling that way. I was panicked because I had a lot of questions about my life that were (and still are) pretty substantial. Where am I going professionally? Where am I going spiritually? What do I really want out of life?
Some of those answers are largely still eluding me, truthfully. I don't have a job and I'm still single. Those are problematic, to say the least. But this quick snap sums up what I've been feeling this week:
I sent that snap for a lot of reasons. I sent it because of the love I have felt from friends and family. I sent it because I felt the Spirit in my meetings today. I sent it because even though I have no idea what the future holds for me, which is hard and scary because I'm definitely a planner, I know that God's plan is greater than mine.
I'm starting to see more clearly that it doesn't matter that I'm 25 now and still have a lot to figure out. It just doesn't matter. What matters is sticking to the path I know is right and working hard. The rest will fall into place.
Alma says it best:
What matters most is choosing to do the best you can with what you've got. And that's a mantra that I've had for a long time, actually, but life was way simpler when I first started saying that. I could have never anticipated the trials that would come my way just a few years down the road.
But I'm so grateful that the Lord has given me such awesome people that support me, even not on my birthday.
I went out to lunch on Wednesday with my former coworkers. I was so happy to see them and laugh and joke and catch up.
I'm sad to not see them everyday, but their effect on my life will be long-lasting. They taught me about reaching out in kindness, even to those you hardly know. They taught me about working hard in all aspects of your life, even when it isn't fun or easy. They taught me to say "I love you" in good times and bad.
I thank God for them and their examples as good people and wonderful friends. I thank Him for my friends that came over last night to party and eat cake. I thank Him for my family that puts up with my bits of trivia I hear on NPR, dopey jokes, my good days and bad alike.
Recognizing the specialness of the people in my life, seeking to serve faithfully in my calling (which I'll get to another time, I'm sure), and trying to come closer to the Lord by way of the scriptures and diligent prayer have changed my whole countenance this week.
I've prayed a lot for a positive attitude and a proactive demeanor. Then I did everything I could think of to make those things happen and look for the blessings that followed.
I don't have much to show for it physically, but I feel closer to God because of my prayers and scripture study. I have recently felt a confirmation that the Church is true, and that I'm doing exactly what I should be doing in terms of the spiritual things.
And just in general, I know that God is real. He is there. He gets what is happening to us, and though that sounds simple, it makes all the difference right now.
I look happy in this picture because I'm holding a birthday cake. Everyone was at my house to celebrate me, which fulfilled my exceptionally large vanity complex. But I promise that the smile goes beyond gifts and "happy birthdays" said via internet and in-person, and all because of Heavenly Father's goodness.
It is taking work. Making the lemon bars out of lemons can be so slow-going. But I have the divine help, and I feel real joy that comes from the hard work.
I've been thinking this a lot the last few days:
(I'm rereading The Fault in Our Stars, where this gem of a quote comes from, and it's perfect. Minus the cancer and tragedy. But seriously, it's so good.)
Anyway, the awesome part about me saying "WHAT IS THIS LIFE?" this week is that it has been about good things. As in "how the heck did I get so dang lucky?!"
I mean, today is my birthday, and that's pretty cool. I've really felt a lot of love, even through generic Facebook wall posts from people I haven't spoken to in a long time. But even better is the love I have felt through the people closer to me (both emotionally and geographically) who have texted, called, or wished me a nice birthday in person. I am blessed to have the family that I do, and blessed to call so many people friends.
Yesterday I had some folks over to my house. Kendle made a delicious cake with lemon curd filling (another great application for lemons). We played games and had a ridiculously fun time naming our Victorian England village "Zacsbeard" in the game Werewolf, after which our pirate ship was also named Zacsbeard. It was captained by the infamous Zacsbeard, played by none other than Seth Glazier. We had a great time.
And with these friends I make lots and lots of jokes about being a menace to society because apparently Brigham Young once said that unmarried men over the age of 25 are have really got to get it together.
Who's got two thumbs and is a freshly deemed detractor to the world? This guy! *enthusiastically jabs chest with both thumbs*
And I've been playing that up for a while now, partly because I kind of am a menace sometimes, and partly because I love taking on the role of "that guy." You know the one—the one that is pretty sarcastic and has a hard time not giggling a little bit during Sunday School if the teacher says a word that could be even remotely suggestive (but probably isn't). Yeah, that's me.
So naturally, the cake Kendle made me emphasized the new title I've been talking about:
 |
| So tasty. :) |
Some of those answers are largely still eluding me, truthfully. I don't have a job and I'm still single. Those are problematic, to say the least. But this quick snap sums up what I've been feeling this week:
 |
| I love Snapchat. |
I'm starting to see more clearly that it doesn't matter that I'm 25 now and still have a lot to figure out. It just doesn't matter. What matters is sticking to the path I know is right and working hard. The rest will fall into place.
Alma says it best:
For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.
And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this [compass] did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise. (Alma 37:44-45)
What matters most is choosing to do the best you can with what you've got. And that's a mantra that I've had for a long time, actually, but life was way simpler when I first started saying that. I could have never anticipated the trials that would come my way just a few years down the road.
But I'm so grateful that the Lord has given me such awesome people that support me, even not on my birthday.
I went out to lunch on Wednesday with my former coworkers. I was so happy to see them and laugh and joke and catch up.
 |
| This was right after everyone surprised me with a really generous graduation gift in December. I worked with all women, but I don't really care because of how amazing they all are. |
I thank God for them and their examples as good people and wonderful friends. I thank Him for my friends that came over last night to party and eat cake. I thank Him for my family that puts up with my bits of trivia I hear on NPR, dopey jokes, my good days and bad alike.
Recognizing the specialness of the people in my life, seeking to serve faithfully in my calling (which I'll get to another time, I'm sure), and trying to come closer to the Lord by way of the scriptures and diligent prayer have changed my whole countenance this week.
I've prayed a lot for a positive attitude and a proactive demeanor. Then I did everything I could think of to make those things happen and look for the blessings that followed.
I don't have much to show for it physically, but I feel closer to God because of my prayers and scripture study. I have recently felt a confirmation that the Church is true, and that I'm doing exactly what I should be doing in terms of the spiritual things.
And just in general, I know that God is real. He is there. He gets what is happening to us, and though that sounds simple, it makes all the difference right now.
I look happy in this picture because I'm holding a birthday cake. Everyone was at my house to celebrate me, which fulfilled my exceptionally large vanity complex. But I promise that the smile goes beyond gifts and "happy birthdays" said via internet and in-person, and all because of Heavenly Father's goodness.
It is taking work. Making the lemon bars out of lemons can be so slow-going. But I have the divine help, and I feel real joy that comes from the hard work.
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