ACCORDING TO ZAC

I feel like I’m at an intersection with a bunch of crossroads and exactly no idea what road looks even a little bit better than any of the other ones. Normally I find people in situations like this really unbearable. Can someone truly have no opinion about where they want their life to take them? Is it really that hard to make a decision and trust that it can get cleaned up if it doesn’t go as planned? But now I’m that exact person, and it’s not a great time. It’s interesting to consider my indecision, but perhaps more interesting to consider where that indecision comes from (does it sound like I’ve been in therapy a long time?). I think I’m needlessly worried that I’ll be seen as some kind of failure if I make a choice I have to back out of later. Who wants to eat crow? There’s some worry about how people might perceive me if I make a big life change they weren’t expecting. I also feel like this might be the first time that I need to make some decisions where there’s less immediate sa...

It’s Sunday night and I can’t sleep. I’m mad about it. But I should have known this would happen; I took a nap at 3:30 this afternoon. As I’ve lain here, my brain keeps going over a surprising situation I’ve found myself in (that I won’t be chronicling in detail here… yet?). It’s something I’m completely surprised by, something I wasn’t planning, yet something I’ve speculated on for a number of years. It also happens to be something I have prayed about but haven’t really found any answers. For many elements of my life I love to use trial and error and know that the Big Guy is waiting in the wings in case things go sideways. Then He and I work to find a better route. However, this is something I was hoping He’d give me the nod for. All I’ve gotten is radio silence. In replaying the last two weeks and forecasting the one ahead, I somehow had a memory pop up from 2015. It was the last summer I lived in Tucson, and we befriended two guys who had moved into our ward for the season. I though...