ACCORDING TO ZAC

This year was not great for most people. There were big stretches of it I certainly didn't enjoy. But there were some unique opportunities that could have only occurred in the refining fire of struggle. To list them isn't to detract from the suffering, uncertainty, and the things I still yearn for, but not acknowledging them would make me ungrateful and short-sighted. Those are two things I certainly try to avoid. We rule the courts in Mesa. Watch out. I'm grateful that 2020 has presented opportunities for me to try some new hobbies. I've mentioned this multiple times recently, but I read more books than I have in years , and I'm so happy to have been entertained, challenged, and moved by the words other people committed themselves to write. My world is bigger for it. I've also done more things outdoors than I probably would have otherwise. There was no shortage of time to walk and run along canal banks, try new hiking trails, finally nail down some wakeboarding...

"Nevertheless, my life is in flux. Though it's going in the direction that it was meant to go, I just can't grasp how anything will ever be like it was not so long ago.” I wrote that in a blog post the summer I turned 21. It was a momentous year: I was waiting for a mission call, I had felt reassured and found joy in pursuing my journalism degree, the singles ward was a fun and engaging place for me, etc. But even among those good things, it didn’t exempt me from the happenings of life. I felt discomfort in confronting the ambiguities before me, including worry about how my relationships would change as I left friends and family for two years. I was so anxious about exiting what might have been the prime of my life to never be able to reclaim it. I look back at that person, now nine years younger than me, and I think, “You have no idea what’s in store.” My mission experience would be incredible, and I’d go on to finish my degree and love it. I came home from my miss...

0/10, would not recommend a broken ankle to anyone. The cycles of life are at the forefront of my mind tonight. Or rather, my blindness to the cycles of life are what I’m thinking about. The last couple of weeks I haven’t been very happy with where I’ve been spiritually, and it’s been getting pretty frustrating. I spend a lot of time thinking about the things that I ought to change and ways that I could be different, but I’m struggling to break out of my rut and actually do a thing— anything —that will move me away from where I am right now. And surprisingly, I hadn’t really talked to anyone at length about it (truly an unusual occurrence). But I finally felt a little tug, and I went and saw my best friend Eric. He didn’t have the answers, but he was kind and empathetic and it was unquestionably time well spent. He and I talked about the phases we go through, some of which are of our own doing; we make poor decisions, we avoid certain things or people, we run away from what’s ha...

I cry when I least expect it. I was coming to the end of Mockingjay , a hopeless, gory and depressing book. It offers no sense of realism in any way shape or form. Katniss spent the whole book in a stupor, actively trying not to cope with everything going on in her life. After months of denial and struggle, she comes to and decides to pick herself up and get on with life -- it's really the only viable option for anyone, anywhere. And that's where it started: She began writing down the details of the people she loved dearly but had tragically lost in the war against the oppressive government: the details of a person's laugh, the color of her friend's eye, or the kindness of someone she had grown up with. All of a sudden she was human again, and it struck a chord. I'm a detail-oriented person when it comes to personal interactions and relationships. As Katniss brought these details forward to prevent them from ever being forgotten, I thought about how much I do...

Meet my future wife, Kelly. It was love at first sight.

New ambition: become curator at the Library of Congress (I saw it on Modern Marvels). To take care of reels of classic movie film, musical scores and antique instruments, and use high tech scanners to preserve wicked cool patriotic images? I feel like that library took every nerdy bone in my body and created a job to suit them.