ACCORDING TO ZAC

Growing up in a middle class family in suburban Tucson meant that I wasn’t exposed to a lot of different lifestyles growing up. I think that was born out of circumstance more than anything. I appreciate my mission to Kentucky because I was able to see and come to know an incredibly wide variety of people. Across nationalities, cultures, religions, education levels, languages, and economic situations, I’ve got a much healthier appreciation for the many components of identity that exist outside my own. I’m able to be more compassionate as a result; I see the value in what others bring to the world. That doesn’t mean there isn’t much more to learn, though. My exposure to the experience of transgender people has been incredibly minimal; I know so little of what trans folks go through. That’s why I’m grateful for my coworker, Catherine. She’s trans and is always very generous to share her thoughts and lived experiences. And while my association with her isn’t primarily so that I can learn h...

I’ve been reading a Mormon site called By Common Consent . It’s generally a place for honest introspection and spiritual questioning without disparaging anyone on either side of the theological issues facing Mormonism. I just read one article about the legacy of President Thomas S. Monson, who passed away in January. The author suggested that a lot of the big controversies the Church was involved in over the last several years might not have really been spearheaded by President Monson, and that he’s getting a bad rap for being the figurehead of the modern Church at the time that these situations were unfolding. Perusing the comments of articles such as these can prove dangerous. People say terrible things about our beliefs and about each other, depending on the site you might be looking at. The last thing I want is some online troll causing me to question my faith. I can do that all on my own without a stranger’s help. In a shocking twist, however, I was uplifted by one ...

I've been feeling a little bit lonely lately, which I will openly admit is kind of dumb. I have to keep telling myself a few things, including: stop being over sensitive, there are a lot of people that love you, and choose your own destiny and chase after it because it'll never fall into your lap. A summation of my current dilemma: This all became exceptionally clear to me about a month ago when a few things happened all at once. The first thing was that my ex-girlfriend moved back into my ward. She was my first (and only) real girlfriend. It was a weird breakup, and I'm still not really sure how I'm feeling about any of it. I know we were right to break up when we did, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss a lot of things about us being together. And not just the kissing or cuddling or stupid things I think a lot of young people prioritize too highly. I miss how we were (almost) always thinking the same thing in an awkward social situation, or t...

(Context: my wonderful mother passed away in early November 2014 from cancer. The diagnosis a year previously had been shocking, but her decline was not. That has been one of many sources of great emotion over the last year. This entry will be about coping with the loss of her, but it could very well be applied to the setbacks we face in life, whether self-inflicted or otherwise.) Life is such a crazy thing. The range of emotions I have felt in the last year or so would take days to explain completely, and the emotions I've felt in the last few days alone have had me up and down. Fortunately enough, I started going through old journal entries this afternoon and I found one that was really encouraging. Last March I had just finished reading a silly book called Allegiant . There were a lot of things I didn't like about the book, but if there was anything redeeming at all about the hundreds of pages I read it was the core message delivered at the very end: "We can be...

It always amazes me to see the way the church enhances who you are without taking away the essence of your personality. Great spiritual realizations magnify your strengths and talents without forcing you into a certain mold that was predetermined. I think that's one of the things I love the most about the gospel, and spending time with family and friends in the temple really brought that into clearer focus. The person that I am is not dictated by the church. However, the knowledge I have of God's plan for us here is what brings definition to everything I do. I am who I am, and that's what makes me special, but the church is what makes it all worth it. The choices I make, the relationships I create, and the direction that I point my life in are all done because I have the fullness of the gospel, and that knowledge makes me happy, and all of it worth doing. Yesterday I went through the temple. It was a great experience, and I'm looking forward to going back to learn mor...

I'm trying to blog something personal and something of value, but I'm having a hard time. Life is just weird right now. I keep waiting for summer school to be over so I can finally feel the relief of not having deadlines. I keep thinking that once I'm free of the class I can focus on the good stuff, the places that my life is headed in the next little while and feel good about it. Ultimately though, I don't really think that's the source of the problem. I think the problem is that my whole life is in flux right now, and I can't do anything about it. People are moving, graduating, getting married, getting mission calls, and all this other stuff that is disrupting the perfect balance that I had achieved in the not so distant past. I had to cope with change not too long ago when everyone graduated high school, friends moved away, we found directions for our lives to take, and did our best to establish ourselves as "adults." Now I'm waiting for a ...

For my Editing class I had to find an article that was poorly reported. The difficult part was that you had to find an article that means something to you. A poorly reported article that rips at your heart because of the way it portrays you or something you care about? That's no fun. Naturally, religion was first to come to mind, and finding something that really misconstrued the LDS church was easier than it should have been. The article was terrible, and the stupid thing is that it wouldn't have been hard to fix and make right. It made me sad that the article had been read by an editor and deemed fit for print in one of the most read newspapers on the planet. It made me sad that in this age of technology, a quick run over Mormon.org would have shed light on a lot of these misconceptions. But, what would have happened had all of these facts been checked and corrected, is that the article wouldn't have really been about much. Her whole focus would have had to shift, in...

Matthew 8 : 24-27 And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him , and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him! The gospel brings peace unto our lives like Christ brought peace unto the sea. He calms the raging waters that knock you back and forth. Just as you think you're going to fall beneath the waves, he'll be there. Trust in the Lord no matter your circumstances. In times of trial I think of this song lyric: "and then I see the light, and he's walking on water, and he's only an arm's reach away." We have a constant support system if we look in the right direction. As we do what's right, God w...

Today was a really great day. It was Thanksgiving, yes, but even for a Thanksgiving, it was particularly excellent. The food was delicious, the company was wonderful, and I have been happy all day long. Here is a quick list of all of the things that I am grateful for. The earth. This planet is so filled with wondrous things for us to enjoy. People really take for granted the amazing things there are to see and do. My appreciation for nature has come with age, but even many people who have grown up do not appreciate the earth and the magnificent things it has to offer. There aren't enough words to describe how truly awesome the earth is. I will love it forever. This country. This nation is not perfect. However, beyond our imperfections, we have some fantastic opportunities here in America. To have the opportunity to say what you want, practice any religion you please, and have a real say in the function of our government is a blessing. I know this country is a wonderful place to...

Tonight we went and saw Hereafter .  [ This one , in case you were wondering.] Eric moaned and Austin tried to nap. I found it positively engaging and thought-provoking. The entire time I couldn't help but think of how blessed I am. Life totally sucks sometimes. Seriously. Granted, what stresses me out, like school, church obligations, etc., are relatively small in comparison to some of the things other people deal with. At the end of the day though, I know why I'm here, what I need to do, and where I'm going, and I have a wonderful support system of family and friends that keep me above water when I don't feel like I can swim any longer. The people in the movie struggle with deaths of certain loved ones and what lies in the hereafter. Death is hard. You don't need to tell me that. I think that as a 20 year old, I'm reasonably well acquainted with it, especially losing my uncle that we were all close with.  But having the knowledge and understanding of God...

This is old news, but I felt like the world would like to know about my little vacation at the beginning of the month. Hank and I jumped on a plane to head to the good old SLC. We went to Utah to go to General Conference and embark on various other adventures. We had tickets to three sessions (THREE!), so we were pretty stoked. We got in on a Friday (Oct 1st), and drove on down to Provo. We met up with Kelsey and had a grand time at Olive Garden. We're hilarious , if you didn't already know. That dinner just confirmed it. Ha ha. On Saturday we ran up to Conference in the morning. We took Kels and gave away our extra ticket. Conference was brilliant, as always, and it was fantastic to hear the good words. Being in the Conference Center makes it all the better. Later, Kelsey went to the afternoon session and we hung out for a while. After an afternoon in downtown Salt Lake, a trip to Deseret Book, driving through the hills overlooking the city, looking at the Salt Lake T...