ACCORDING TO ZAC

I had a long chat with my friend last week, and she made a remark about turning 25 this year. She seemed a little uneasy about it, and I felt a real kinship with her. I felt the same about that particular birthday (but I got a cool cake that year—I even blogged about it and the accompanying angst of aging). But I feel that uneasiness again now, because I’m turning 30 this summer (have I not told you that I was born in 1990, that this year I get a new first digit, that it’s a milestone year, that my youth has slipped through my hands, that I’m not panicking I don’t know why you’d think that it’s a big deal because obviously it’s not and I don’t bring it up in every conversation that I have why would anyone do that?). But I told my friend how awesome 25 ended up being, and I wasn’t even lying. That year was really amazing. And on the heels of my last blog post , I’m trying to decide that 30 is going to be amazing too. Doubts and fears so often end up being unfounded, so why gi...

"You know everyone, don't you?" he said to me as we walked down the hall towards the clerk's office. I had just high fived someone that we passed walking the other way. I hadn't even thought twice about the gesture, it just felt normal. And yeah, I know plenty of people in my ward. I've been here for two-and-a-half years now, which I would hope is long enough to make some connections. But as I thought about his question over the course of the day, what I really think this new friend of mine was saying was this: "You really have a family here, don't you? You are loved here, aren't you?" And the more I thought about it, the more overwhelmed I was at the truth of what he was getting at. My life in Mesa has had some challenges, of course. We've all got them. But my time here has also been everything I never knew I needed, all thanks to the amazing people that I've been able to rub shoulders with. And when I really stop to think abo...

They say that if you've charted a course for a particular destination but you're off by even just one degree, you'll travel the requisite time or distance but end up many miles from your intended location. Human error can account for a lot of those moments in our lives—we make wrong career choices, a relationship goes bad, we ignore sound advice from those who know more than we do—and we learn from that. But what I'm consistently finding out is that sometimes Heavenly Father sets the bearings for our journeys, even though we think we're in control. Putting this into words is only hitting me now, but I see how this all started a number of weeks ago when an acquaintance from high school sent me a message on Facebook. This girl was three years younger than me and quite shy. A number of months ago she sent me a message thanking me for having been kind to her years ago. I was shocked she even remembered that I had spoken to her then. I'm just glad I was helpful...

The loss of a parent in a person's life is going to be pretty profound. Even if that person didn't have a strong connection with his or her parent, a mom/dad gives you half of who you are by genes alone. You can't escape that—they helped make you! It's even harder if you loved that parent and were close. I've been thinking about my mom a lot over the last few months, and it's been surprisingly tumultuous. The first six or eight months after she died, I would have a few good days and then be struck suddenly with grief and sadness. And yes, I obviously missed her always , and still do, but the shock and hurt would come and go. It would hit me in random moments and with surprising intensity while I made sense of the fact that she's really gone, not just on a trip or something. Those feelings of intense sadness had mostly faded, and nostalgia and slight longing are what persisted. It was a dull ache that was definitely livable. The last few months, however...

They say that when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, right? Personally, I like sweet more than sour, so maybe lemon bars would be a better analogy for me, but the thought is all the same: my life isn't perfect, but it's coming around based on my own efforts. I've been thinking this a lot  the last few days: (I'm rereading The Fault in Our Stars , where this gem of a quote comes from, and it's perfect. Minus the cancer and tragedy. But seriously, it's so good.) Anyway, the awesome part about me saying "WHAT IS THIS LIFE?" this week is that it has been about good things. As in "how the heck did I get so dang lucky?!" I mean, today is my birthday, and that's pretty cool. I've really felt a lot of love, even through generic Facebook wall posts from people I haven't spoken to in a long time. But even better is the love I have felt through the people closer to me (both emotionally and geographically) who have texted, c...

A long time ago I wrote a post about the way my life had changed in a short period of time. I talked about how six months previously I had faced a trial that scared me a lot, but that I conquered it. I mentioned how before that trial I faced something else a few months previously and managed to take care of it and learn a lot in the process. It was cool to chart my growth. Well, dear blogging world, I took a two year hiatus. I missed blogging and writing a lot. Seriously, writing is just good for the soul, even if no one reads what you put down on paper. So, here I am, ready for a little recap of life and what I've learned. Unfortunately, there just isn't time (and I don't have the energy) to tell you about all of my adventures in the last two years. I would, however, like to tell you a little about what I've learned. I hope you enjoy it: On September 7, 2011, I entered the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT. It was a weird day to say the very, very least....

I got a new camera (see it here ). I had been thinking about getting one for a few days. I'm going to Seattle this week, and then Kentucky for a few years, so why not? Plus, cameras are so inexpensive (comparatively) these days, it just seemed like it was worth it. So far, it has been.

It always amazes me to see the way the church enhances who you are without taking away the essence of your personality. Great spiritual realizations magnify your strengths and talents without forcing you into a certain mold that was predetermined. I think that's one of the things I love the most about the gospel, and spending time with family and friends in the temple really brought that into clearer focus. The person that I am is not dictated by the church. However, the knowledge I have of God's plan for us here is what brings definition to everything I do. I am who I am, and that's what makes me special, but the church is what makes it all worth it. The choices I make, the relationships I create, and the direction that I point my life in are all done because I have the fullness of the gospel, and that knowledge makes me happy, and all of it worth doing. Yesterday I went through the temple. It was a great experience, and I'm looking forward to going back to learn mor...

Here is last night in photos: This envelope stared me down for 6 hours. Friends waiting for the big reveal. Writing down one US and one foreign guess. Kelsey and Austin kinda tied for being closest, Kels with Ohio and Austin with West Virginia. Here we go! I love the pouting face. I swear, they were tears of joy! :) I'm going to Kentucky! (And Illinois and Indiana) Everyone is happy for me. I'm sad I didn't get a picture with my parents, but there will be plenty of those when I get dropped off in September. I have the coolest friends ever. :)   :: Here are some photos of other happy things: