Liftoff

Lately I have been really worried about my life. Like, waaaaaay more than usual. And I've been having some really intense emotional whiplash getting really caught up in these episodes in which I think about all the negative things that might happen and why does everyone else have something that I don't have but want and blah blah blah.

And then God throws me a bone and says, "Hey. I love you. No, really, I do. And it's going to be just fine. Trust me." And then I cry.

And then I start the process all over again.

Well, in today's installment of "I love you and CALM THE HECK DOWN" from above, I was blessed with this little gem:

"[God] made your spirit strong and capable of being resilient to the whirlwinds of life. The whirlwinds in your [life,] like the wind against a young tree, can increase your spiritual strength, preparing you for the years ahead."
— Neil L. Andersen

It made me think of all of the hardships in my life that I allowed to teach me something. (More words on that here, and a specific example here.) I am a better man as a result of the terrible and upsetting things that I have been subjected to by the actions of others and the universe at large, as well as the things that I bring upon myself by virtue of my poor decisions. I wouldn't trade them for anything because of who I have become in the wake of those instances in which I got to choose what path to take—the one of bitterness and defeat, or the one of growth and light.

That's all well and good, right? But, as indicated at the start of this post, it's hard to maintain that perspective. I've got this whiplash thing happening where I doubt and fret, and then remember who I am and who God is.

As I was mulling over this quote all day and trying endlessly to pull myself out of a rut, I decided to review some of the things I had marked in a self-help book I've been reading (which I talked about in my last post). I was so thrilled to reread a specific passage from Zander and Zander and recognize how the quote from Elder Andersen above works perfectly with this one:

"Being with the way things are calls for an expansion of ourselves. We start from what is, not from what should be; we encompass contradictions, painful feelings, fears, and imaginings, and—without fleeing, blaming, or attempting correction—we learn to soar, like the far-seeing hawk, over the whole landscape. The practice of being with the way things are allows us to alight in a place of openness, where "the truth" readies us for the next step, and the sky opens up."
—Benjamin and Rosamund Zander

I can control so little about this life and this world, but what I can control is who I decide to become, how I react to situations that confront me, and how much faith I'm willing to have understanding that God knows things that I don't know and will protect me if I'm making the right choices.

It doesn't mean that things aren't going to be a little weird sometimes. That's just part of this whole deal. But I'm ready to soar. I'm ready for liftoff, so I can leave this anxiety and stress and nonsense of "should be" on the ground and focus on the amazing things I already have and that await me on my journey.

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