Choosing Who I Want to Be

A couple of weeks ago I decided to use my freedom as an unemployed adult to drive to Utah and spend some time with the folks that I really love up there.
This is Jenna! She is the reason this blog still gets updated, and was the first person I met up with.
A few thoughts about the trip:

  1. Driving about 25 hours all by yourself in the matter of just a few days gives you way too much time for self reflection.
  2. Northern Arizona and a lot of Utah are both exceptionally beautiful.
  3. There's just something different in the air in Provo. I had a bunch of flashbacks to the MTC, and I couldn't shake the nostalgia while I was there. I couldn't decide if that was good or bad.
  4. I have the greatest friends ever.
Panguitch, Utah doesn't have McDonald's, but it has gorgeous sunsets and creepy motels.
Anyway, the thing that has been on my mind ever since the trip was a quote I heard on a podcast while I was driving the stretch of I-15 between Provo and Beaver (I love that 80 mph speed limit).

I was listening to the TED Radio Hour, hosted by Guy Raz. TED talks are really cool, if you've ever spent much time listening to them (one of the most compelling ones I've heard is here), and this podcast links two or three talks around a common theme. Raz interviews the speakers to get more of their backstories and really weave the theme together. It's a really beautiful way to examine characteristics of humanity from a number of viewpoints, all within a 50 minute show.

The episode that really spoke to me was called "Growing Up." A man named Andrew Solomon talked about how difficult his childhood and young adult years were as he tried to discover and understand the kind of person he was/is.

Warning: this will become Gospel-oriented. It always does. It's been happening more and more lately that I discover a nonreligious person say something that is full of doctrinal truth that is very striking and inspiring to me.

Anyway, he said this of his difficult life experiences:

"I survived that childhood through a mix of avoidance and endurance. What 
I didn't know then and do know now is that avoidance and endurance can 
be the entryway to forging meaning."

That sentiment immediately brought me to 2 Nephi 2, where it is explained that "there is an opposition in all things" (verse 11). I didn't love Solomon's use of "avoidance," but I can get over it for the general validity of his sentiment. But what a great mantra for life—let the hard stuff be meaningful. He continued:

"After you've forged meaning you need to incorporate that meaning into a 
new identity. You need to take the traumas and make them part of who 
you've come to be, and you need to fold the worst events of your life into 
a narrative of triumph, evincing a better self in response to things that hurt."

And that second part is what I think is the greatest life lesson that anyone can learn early on: choose to make these hard things count for something. Choose to be shaped by these difficult experiences in a way that make you into the very best person you can be.

As I thought about what he said I recognized the way that my identity as a son of God has been solidified when I use trials as a means of growth and dependence on Him. I thought about how I want to always use hard things in life to continue forging my identity into a person of compassion and service.

And lastly, I thought about how I can allow the combination of endurance, meaning and identity to find joy in this life. Because without opposition, law and sin "there be no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness... And if these things be not there is no God" (verse 13).

I really enjoyed all of my meetings on Sunday, including a fireside I attended in the evening. The message I took away from several of the testimonies/lessons/speakers was that this is all worth it. It really is. Make this life into something awesome, even when it isn't going exactly as you planned.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Creeped around and found this! I'm excited to keep up with you now =) I loved this, thanks for the inspiration! You truly are amazing and we definitely need to hang out when I'm down for Christmas.
August 16, 2015 at 8:19 AM
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