For a minute there, I was mad at my therapist. Not for a breach of confidence or any other kind of unprofessional behavior. No, I was mad at him because he’s right, and he has been for the better part of the three years I’ve been working with him. Change is hard, and the process to develop personally can be grueling. But even if I was mad, it’s not lost on me how lucky I am that I’ve got a trained professional to help me through it all. Most remarkable about what I’m realizing isn’t that this guy has been right all along—I knew he had credentials and a wealth of experience at the outset—it’s that he has allowed this process to be mine , even if it probably (certainly) prolonged the outcome. He has let me move at the pace that’s appropriate for me, even though the path through this maze has probably looked pretty clear from his vantage point. While the endpoint, the goal of getting through this maze, was why I started working with him, the fact that he didn’t dictate anything has meant ...
I grew up in a car loving family. If you need proof, my brother and I would fight over who got to read the new issue of Car & Driver first when it showed up in the mail, I had a big collection of diecast model cars and Chevron Cars ( so cute! ), my uncle was a semi-professional racecar driver, and I still care a lot about liking what I drive and trying to keep my car clean. I suppose I shouldn't be shocked then that over the last 10-ish years the place where I've been most honest with God, and have subsequently made some big breakthroughs with Him, has been in my car. The breakthroughs haven't often been about a solution, but have often been because I've hit a point where I'm willing to pour it all out. It is certainly helped by the fact that I'm alone there and that I can pray out loud and do an ugly cry without my roommates hearing through our walls. But also, I'm somehow always coming from somewhere that I had been doing a lot of pondering, or a frie...
I had some thoughts while I was flying home yesterday from a great trip, so I spent some time typing them out. I want them to live somewhere more solid than my notes app, so here they are. :: I’m on a flight home from Buffalo, NY right now and was just jolted from my daydreaming by the thought “Pay attention to what you just lived.” For six days I traveled through the northeast to perform twice with Millennial Choir and Orchestra. Tanner Weigel, Mitch Gibson and Peter Burgoyne were here with me. We started in Boston, and it was beautiful (and hot). We sang in Symphony Hall, which was pretty neat. But before the performance we had a few days of sightseeing and so much laughter. I appreciate these men for their non-judgement and immense emotional understanding and support. While we each approach our lives in slightly different ways, there is camaraderie and love and care as I share my heart with them, the good and the bad alike. I can be my whole self with them, and that’s a gift. What g...
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